Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Needing your prayers again.

I'm searching for the right words tonight...real words.

I know that God is here. And I believe with all my soul that He is here. But I have been having a hard time feeling that He is here.

It's my fault, of course. Because I move and I move without stopping and sometimes without thinking. And then all of the sudden life happens. A blow. A punch in the gut and I'm not prepared, because though He is here, I wasn't drawing near.

Our most recent blow...Chad lost his job about a week and half ago. I could go on a bitter rampage about how wrong they were in their reasonings and the way they did it. But I won't because it doesn't matter.

If I'm honest, though, I am bitter. But it didn't start a week and half ago. It started almost three years ago when our financial famine really began. It's been three years of not answering the phone without checking the caller ID, of late fees, of red letters on our back statements, of robbing Peter to pay Paul, of gift cards "from Jesus" left on our front porch, and of praying for an end but hearing silence. We have been living paycheck to paycheck and right now there isn't any coming.

Funny thing is...I'm not panicked. And better than that, I'm beginning to feel Him again. I'm beginning to see His hand moving. And I'm beginning to think that this is not a curse at all, but that God is answering our prayers.

Don't get me wrong...we've had interviews, but no callbacks.

Would you pray for us again? Pray that God moves another miracle for our family. Pray that this job loss is actually the end of our financial woes and not the beginning. And pray that I would find my comfort and strength from the only One who can truly give it to me.

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  1. Shanna, I know exactly where your at right now. My husband lost his job in October of 2007 and was without work for 4 months. When did get a job is was barely more than unemployment and with 6 kids you know how not good that is. We are still reeling from the finanical rampage that took upon us. But i will tell you that I never had to depend on the Lord like I did then and still do. Thankfully my husband has just been offered a much better job, but the last 15 months have been very hard. He has given us a beautiful baby during that time and I wouldn't change that. I guess He was teaching to REALLY need Him. I will pray for you spiritually and for your husband, I know the weight that must be upon his shoulders right now as well. If I can do anything, please dont hesitate to ask, even if its to pray with you or just to talk! Blessings sister.

  2. BTW "broken" by Lifehouse is one of my faves! :-)

  3. I don't have any words, so I will just pray...

  4. I am so sorry to hear are in my thoughts and prayers..if u need anything call us!!..babysitter...ANYTHING!!

  5. Shanna, I am aching for you. And definitely praying. We've had so many things go wrong these last few months and it was so discouraging but for some reason, I had an amazing peace about it. I KNEW God was going to take care of it all. I had this awesome expectancy...I couldn't WAIT to see how He did it. And then months went by and no big miracles just "happened". I started getting pretty discouraged. We started looking into getting a loan even though my husband was against it, he was thinking we had little choice. I was tired of waiting on God and wanted to fix it myself. To fix all of our stuff right now, we need $10,000. That's a LOT of money! When I was really ready to just stop trusting though, someone from church (we have no idea who) gave us $500. It barely touched our problem, but it helped us have our pay-period in months that we hadn't overdrawn our account. I even bought some Christmas presents.

    This person who gave this gift has no idea what they did for us. They helped me keep my faith that God would provide. Maybe not in the big way I was hoping for, but in the way I needed best. And as I stopped to look at what HAD happened these last few months, I couldn't help but see His hand. Chris was supposed to be laid-off in October. He is training his replacement until Christmas. It's a miracle we even have a job right now.

    I want God to get the glory for my life. The loan I wanted would fix my problems, but it wouldn't give glory to God. I'm still skittish, but God knows where I am and He's taking the time to assure me through little things day by day.

    I will absolutely be praying for you guys!



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